Can you tell which books are real?

Anne has a favorite pillow, if you know what I mean. She has a night of fun with said pillow, who turns out to be a hot man. Insinuations about padding follow.

A woman is lured by her sensitive front door. “Front door” is not a euphemism; she has sex with her literal door.

A few months after his wife dies, a man sees a worm and says, “This is my wife.” To his credit, it’s kind of his wife. He has sexual fantasies that involve cutting his worm wife in half.

When Ginny’s new headphones connect to her phone, she’s intrigued by the sultry, automated voice that says her device is “connected.”

After her plane crashes in the Australian outback, Joana meets a 6-foot-tall platypus man. He can talk, but he has a bill. You can use your imagination from there.

A man named Dev is known for the Twitter logo and surprise chicks — they exchange DMs with horns and eventually have sex IRL. (The publication of this book predates the platform name change, although it is called A Dirty Romance X basically writes itself.)

A woman has sex with an uninhabited Easter Bunny costume brought to life by a magical spell. His sperm tastes like candy.

A woman wants to lose her virginity to a demon that is clearly trapped inside a crocheted octopus.

An alien takes the form of a bee and comes to Earth to find the perfect “female specimen” for “pollination”. The book is loosely based on The bee movie.

A woman microwaves a couple of Easter marshmallows and they turn into human men. History gives “fluffernut” a different meaning.

Dr. Alexa is trying to develop a cure for COVID-19. Her boss, who has COVID, takes an unproven version of Dr. Alexa, who magically turns him into the physical embodiment of the coronavirus. Social distancing be damned.

Two friends jokingly type “6969” into an ATM number pad, awakening the ancient god that lives within. They have a trio, really taking advantage of the ATM cash slot.

A witch curses a himbo named Connor, turning him into a rake who lives in the garage of a woman named Taylor. She and the rocket do exactly what you’re thinking.

In a world where hamburgers have been outlawed, Emmy meets and falls in love with none other than Hamband, a McDonald’s hamburger knockoff.

A woman falls in love (and has sex) with a sensitive coffee cup.

Love and absorption is the sexy love story between a man and his shape-shifting girlfriend.

IN It is taken for granted, Raven finds $50 on the ground, and her good fortune doesn’t end there. This is not just a dollar bill, but one that contained the trapped ghost of President Ulysses S. Grant. To free his soul, Raven must have sex with paper money. And, readers? She makes it rain.

Jewel casts a spell to get $2000 and something goes wrong. A sensitive (and muscular) stimulation control appears in her attic, and she is certainly stimulated.

A man is … enjoying a metal sculpture of a horse during a lightning storm. The story begins with a quote from the Wikipedia page on lightning.

Mandi opens a can of Pamplemousse LaCroix, takes a sip, and feels … different. The carbonation has taken on a life of its own, bringing a bubbly sensation ANY part of her body. Torn between finishing her refreshing drink and prolonging her experience with this sexy sparkling water, Mandi must choose which thirst she wants to quench.